I know churches can hurt a ministry family. I've seen it and heard even more.
But I am not a victim.
I didn't say I hadn't been hurt. I just said (and typed) that I am not a victim.
There is so much good in the church family and its designed relationship to the pastor's family. We are all on the same team! They are an extension of my household, though this requires so much more vulnerability than I feel I can give at times. But that's where God steps in.
He reminds me of the bountiful blessings that are especially given to me and my family through our special calling in our church. Let me share them with you. Let them be the fuzzy, familiar slippers you put your tired feet in after Sunday's last postlude. Taste them like the breakfast at 10:30 on Monday after sleeping in after Sunday's final foyer goodbye. Hear them like the sounds of your husband snoring peacefully after one more divinely inspired sermon.
- There are people especially praying for you and your family on a regular basis. God calls these people, and they are powerful. Know I'm praying for you, though I don't know your name, but I know you - I am you. Not exactly, but pretty close I betcha.
- Many people have great intentions about helping your family... sometimes too great I know, and sometimes the intentions can even hurt when offered in the wrong way. But your church called your husband, so they want to take care of you.
- Your church can be your family, with all the positives and negatives that come along with any family. Especially when you're far away from your own biological family, this spiritual family is oh so vital. When you need to call on someone, call on them.
- It takes a village to raise a child? No, it takes a church family. They can help give so much extra love and attention to your children. They can provide so many godly examples to them. They can help you creatively train them up in the way of the Lord.
- Schedules can usually be flexible for a pastor, allowing the family to spend time together in experiences that would not be open to other families. We take Mondays as "Daddy Day" and go wherever we want, with no waiting in lines! Time is precious and should be used!
- If there are people among the flock who seem to be attacking you or your family, it is because they are themselves hurting. A wounded creature attacks. Don't be a victim, but open your heart to the wounded creature and respond with love and prayer.
- Your faults open to the family of God will show that any old sinner can be a child of God. And even better - your repentance can show that a sinner, picked up by God's forgiveness, can be used by God to glorify Him. Don't live in a glass house, but a glass life. Reflect Him.
- God loves you and has called you to His perfect plan... whatever that is for you. NOT whatever that is for others. Do what He expects, and help others to do the same. Keep your focus on your Father in Heaven, who sings over you with love. Zeph 3:17
